My downward spiral

19 August 1978
External Services:
  • kamyk@livejournal.com
  • kamyk4s73r
Hmmm... I'm a gay white/mixed male, 31 years old. 5'8, 180#. Brown eyes, brownish blond mohawk. I occasionally exercise to keep in decent shape.

I like Techno industrial, Punk, Punk Pop, Techno, Dance pop, video games, and blunts. I hate cocaine, crack, liars, self-absorbed people, and bigots. I am an avid video game player. I'm on Secondlife. I like to hike, snowboard, and sunbathe. If I lived by a beach I would surf. I read Sci-Fi/Fantasy, love horror movies, and italian food. I write music, mod video games, and I draw. I also write. I am a starving artist. I have both shallow, and deep sides. I think a lot about the nature of God, and the universe. I am kinda a cross between a punk, a goth, a surfer, a pagan, and a college professor. I am somewhat middle of the road in my mannerisms, but I tend towards femmish (that does not read flamboyant, more like I could give a shit about acting "manly". I don't let myself be defined by gender "roles" anymore).

What I want most in the world is a stable relationship with a guy who is at least as attractive as I am, who is interested in the same things.

My life in ragged ruins
My pain the price I pay
For feeling far too fiercely
the love you took away.
My meaningless existence
My emotional decay.

My heart is broken ashes.
My dreams are veiled in gray.
My life is in the balance
Yet you have no word to say.
No words of explanation
for the love you took away.

You are lost to me forever
I know that you will never
Come back to me, or even see
That what you do is killing me.
What to me is tradegy is just some game you play.
Please come back and set me free.

Your lack of any conscience
the knife with which you slay.
My love broken and bleeding
The hunter and his prey.
You rip through my emotions
as my heart you start to flay.

My pain is overwhelming.
In this life, I cannot stay.
My soul is in the balance
While I wait for you to pray
for me to find some solace
Will you send me on my way?

You are lost to me forever
I know that you will never
Come back to me, or even see
That what you do is killing me.
What to me is tradegy is just some game you play.
Please come back and set me free.

Do you think of me at all
At some point in the day?
Do you care at all you caused my fall
when my trust you did betray?
Will you right what you have wronged
Or leave me to waste away?

If ever you came back to me
and were willing to repay
the damage you have caused me
then my heart could mend someday.
But that will never happen.
I know that you will never sway.
I love you, though I hate it.
And I will never be okay.
(C)opyright 2006 Kamyk.
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