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Wed, Feb. 27th, 2008, 06:55 am
A return to the grave

I would say, yes I am still alive.  But I'm not.  Not really.  I suppose I am writing because so much has happened in the last few years that I am tired of retelling it over and over.  If I do it this one last time here, I can just stop.  If someone really wants to know, I can make them come here and look instead.  

I am going to do this differently than before.  I am not going to write a daily or weekly or monthly or yearly journal.  I am going to start at square one, and tell things that HAVE happened, not things that are.  I am going to write the story of my life in general terms, being more specific as I go.   I have been told that my story is quite interesting, and I should write a book about my life, so consider this the first draft.

That being said, I don't really feel up to it at the moment, but I am presenting my presence here as an opening to doing so.  I have utterly neglected everyone I knew in my alternating bouts with despair and intense relationships.  It's been so long at this point, I don't see how I can possibly catch up.  I guess that makes me a pretty worthless and neglectful friend.  The last few years have made me pretty self-abosrbed and cynical, so I guess no one is missing much anyway.

Hmm I should perhaps do a timeline//chapter listing.  Maybe that would help me organize my thoughts for this project.

1) Neglect, and abuse.  Nightmares.  Evil peers..
2) Popularity at a price.
3) Renting a piece of hell.  The homeless.
4) The first, and longest.
5) The bitch from hell.
6) Alone in a group.  The young one.
7) Lifesaver. Soulstealer.  Deepest blue.
8) The rich and infamous. Secondlife.
9) Stalkers, and Singers.
10) Purple and Silver kittys.
11) Pilz.

That's all for now.

Wed, Feb. 27th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC)

Well i was just thinking about you today.. You are alive.

Sat, Mar. 1st, 2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
jadisonica: Books

Well if you are going to write a book you better do it soon before 2012. right?

You are not worthless or neglectful. You completely and utterly throw yourself into relationships. Doing that leaves nothing for you. You need to learn to not completely give yourself away in a relationship. Yes making the other person happy is great but not at the total expense of your own.