Well, not much has changed since last year, I'm still being a recluse, and it's still working for me for the most part. It is still a little lonely, and I still think the lack of stress and drama outweighs that. I do miss sex though. And it would be nice if I could find a person to occasionally share things with I suppose.
This has given me time to clarify in my mind what it is I really want though. I don't want someone to complete me. I am complete on my own. A whole person, not half of one looking for the other half. If I were to find someone, I'd want someone who wanted to share my life, not be my life. Maybe it's selfish, but I've come to realize I like me time. I don't want a boyfriend that would cling to me 24/7. I'd prefer someone who is also a whole person, who just happens to be passing through my life, and is occasionally doing the same things I am. My last counsellor would call that healthy. I agree. Of course it's moot, as I don't see myself meeting anyone complete, or even clingy anytime in the near future. And I'm more or less o.k. with that.
I do miss the friends I've made online over the years, and then let drift away. It's of course my own fault for neglecting them. I do wish I knew how they were though. I am extremely grateful to most of them. They got me through some very tough spots in my life. Some even in spite of their own life crises, still had time for me. I suppose since they have all moved on, none of them will ever know how much I appreciated them. Nevertheless, I'd like to thank them whether they will see it or not.
To the following: Kat, Courtney, Danny, Evo, Rika, Walkingnorth, Jeffrey, Lancifer.
All of you meant a great deal to me when I knew you (and still mean something to me), and in many cases helped me to keep going when I didn't think I could. I am sorry I didn't have the energy to expend the effort needed to continue our friendships, just know that I still remember you, and still think of you, and hope you are all doing well. You all have my sincerest thanks for helping a very troubled and hurt person through the worst part of his life. If any of you would like to say hi, I'd be thrilled to hear from you.
I'd also like to say thank you to my sister Jadis (you are my best friend), and WolfNZ Tigerpaw (my best long distance friend ever) for being my friends and supporting me.
It has been and continues to be an honor to know you all in whatever capacity.